One of the dirty jokes I posted on facebook way back in the day. I don't use FB anymore so you might not have seen this. Two can play that game! lol

#cat #whore #funny #dirtyjoke

Did Spider-man: Into The Spider-Verse confuse you because there were so many spiderman? This video might help explain things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5mpCKxjtpI

Just like these elves I’m always looking for a little tail and a littler head. lol

#christmas #funny #dirtyjoke

I am currently using my New Grounds account and Twitter most of the time now. To all my new New Ground followers, you can also follow me on Twitter by clicking below. 

TWITTER

Anime oil wrestling. Can you name what show this is from?

(fyi...I've only seen it once. The graphics and animation we're Ok for the early 2000's.)

#anime #oilwrestling #sexy #whatistheshow

Here's a new Kim Possible Tied Up Tuesday meme!

#kimpossible #tieduptuesday #bondage #funny

** WARNING! - WARNING! **

Don't "click" on these sites!

** WARNING! - WARNING! **

Only view the Cheer Fight promo cards on my Twitter, Tumblr or NewGounds @teasecomix or on http://TeaseComix.com 

#kimpossible #cheerfight #porn #virus #computervirus #Malware #hentai #rule34

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Tumblr is going to lose a lot of money since they're makimng this big change.

Read the Nerdist blog about how Tumblr is in trouble here: TUMBLR IS IN TROUBLE

I always found this funny! lol

#dirtyjoke #funny #swallow

I finally had a lifelong fantasy come true.

Let me explain...

I love watching videos and cartoons of girls handcuffed, on their knees and suckling cock! For the record...I WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO A GIRL - Unwillingly!

That being said, I can't deny the fact that I always wanted to do that. Well, yesterday, it finally happened!

I've been dating this girl (off and on) for about a month now. I'm not going to give you her real name so let's call her Beth.

Beth was an actress for a few years. She's acted in a few plays and was an extra in a few movies shot in PA. Anyway, Beth is also a submissive. Well, she can play the part of a submissive very well.

I invited her over Saturday afternoon. We were going to go out but she wanted to stay in and get a pizza and watch a movie or two. Sure...fine, we can stay in. No problem. When I went to go out and get the pizza she wanted to stay behind. Sure...no problem. I trusted her. Heck, I thought maybe she would do my dishes and clean up my apt a little. She’s done that before without me even asking. She’s nice like that.

Twenty five minutes later, when I go back with the pizza, I nearly dropped the pizza box as I opened my door! She was in my living room, naked, with her hands handcuffed behind her back, on her knees and - ALL OILED UP! She knew about my little oil fetish and my handcuff fantasy so she made it come true as a surprise! She said to be, “I’m sorry. I didn’t clean up. I need to be punished.” So I closed my door, put the pizza box down and played along.

I got right in front of her, pulled my cock out (which I don’t think has ever that hard before.) and used my hand to raise her head up and make her look at me. I told her, “Oiling yourself up like this pleases me but it’s not enough. You’re going to suck my cock like you’ve never sucked anyones cock before. Do you understand?”

At first, she willingly went up and down on my super hard cock. But after a while, I used my hands and grabbed her head made her deepthroat it. I made her look at me as my cock was all the way in her throat. We’re talking balls on her chin all the way!

I let her breath for a moment and told her, “Your punishment isn’t over until you swallow!”

“Must I?” she asked with a long face.

“Yes! Now finish this!”

Needless to say, it didn’t take me very long to cum. She knew about the fantasy and she played the part of the girl who was “unwilling to swallow” very well. As I exploded in her mouth she tried to pull back (Don’t worry. It wasn’t rape. Like I said, she knew about this lifelong fantasy!) I held her head on my cock as she tried her best to get away! I pulled her hair back and made her look up at me as I drained my balls in her throat. I could see a little spit and oil and white saliva drip and spray out of the sides of her mouth as she tried to gasp for air as she took shot after shot of my cum down her throat.

The funny this was, after I came she smiled (for just a moment) and then got back into character. She could see, even though I came the best orgasm of my life, I was still hard! She asked, “Is my punishment over?”

I could see she was still playing the part of the submissive so I told her, “Let me eat my pizza and think about it.”

So I sat down on my couch, started watching TV and eating pizza. She crawled over to me, on her knees with her hands still cuffed behind her back, and started sucking my cock again as I watched TV. Seriously! Not less then 10 minutes after I just came the best orgasum of my life she started sucking me off, again! This time there was no forcing her. She did it all on her own even though she knew I could grab her head at any moment and make her do what I wanted her to.

Well, to make a long story short, we had sex 4 more times. I don’t think I ever came so much on one night in my life. 5 times within 4 hours.

It was amazing to finally be able to make a girl suck my cock and do to her what I see in the videos and cartoon parodies I find. I was almost drunk with power! LOL

AGAIN, I would never do this to a girl who didn’t want to participate in this awesome fantasy! That being said (again) it was amazing!

Chris